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Not a blogger.. I just write down my own thoughts and opinions about things that matter !

Saturday 4 August 2012

Waking up the violinist in me

Vienna 1993 it was a week-end .. I was four years old my parents took me to a park where Johann Strauss's golden statue is standing. A group of violinist were playing his music .. I don't remember my reaction but my mom told me that I stayed completely silent and then said I want to do what they are doing..


                                                        Johann Strauss's Golden Statue in
                                                                          Vienna


In November 1993 The Cairo Opera House launched a class for the "Suzuki Method" that lets 4 year old kids learn how to play the violin. I joined the class and I was in the first group ever and was the youngest violinist in the Opera House. We had 2 Japanese teachers and an Egyptian teacher called Dr. Osman El Mahdi.


I played in many concerts in the Opera house and mas madly in love with everything about it. But after a while the Japanese teachers left and I was left with less motivation because they were role models for me at that time .. I played in many big events, was featured in some newspapers and a few times on television. Played in front of Presidents of different countries. But after a while playing the violin started getting really stressful, I was a kid carrying my small violin everywhere. While my friends were playing in was stuck at home because I had to practice. I'd get back home after school finish my homework and practice. Whenever I travel I have to practice everyday for an hour in the hotel room. It was way too stressful and I was just a kid who wanted to play. My parents started punishing me if I said I don't want to practice..
Years passed and for some reason I started loving it less .. I just wanted to play when I want to play.. not be forced to play.
7 years later while practicing at home I broke my violin. I was completely fed up from the stress and got to a point where I seriously hated everything about it. That was the last time I played the violin.

Years passed by and I started liking music again .. I started listening to music that had violin in it and started regretting my decision to quit. Today.. which is 12 years later I bumped into my ex Teacher, Dr. Osman El Mahdi and his wife, and a guy who started playing with me when he was a kid and now he's a great violinist in the Opera House and soon in Germany as well. Dr. Osman told me that I was really talented and it was such a shame for me to quit...
Quitting that beautiful instrument is my biggest regret in my life. I wish I could go back in time and have a little  bit more patience and play. I should have taken a break for a month or two when I felt so stressed.
I still love it, it's still the most beautiful thing my ears ever heard.
I bought a new violin, a bigger one.. I bought it two years ago.. but I'm so scared that if I try to learn again I'd fail this time.. But I believe it's worth a try..

One of the pieces that I enjoyed playing was this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfsydasb8OU&list=FLKAEyY6aQ47UyiCij8utNTg&index=46&feature=plpp_video

I forgot everything.. The only thing I remember is how to hold a violin.. I still hold it like a violinist ... a violinist who can't play a single note.

But I'll be back soon :)





Saturday 25 February 2012

Wednesday 28 December 2011

A school project I wrote about the egyptian Media pre, during and after Jan 25


Introduction

The year 2011 witnessed -as a lot of politicians and journalists call it- an arab spring or an arab uprising. It started on the 17th of December when Mohamed Bouazizi a Tunisian vegetable seller set himself on fire because he was multiply bullied on by the Tunisian government which president was Zine El Abidine Ben Ali who stepped down in mid January.
Followed by that was the Egyptian revolution that started on January 25th. A lot of people say that the Tunisian Revolution gave the push for the Egyptian people to revolt against the regime and against Mubarak's dictatorship.
Libya, Yemen and Syria followed the Egyptian revolution. The people started revolting against their governments and regimes everywhere. So far only two revolutions almost succeeded 100% in Tunis they just elected a president who was a blogger, and in Libya they killed their dictatorship and are planning to re build their country now.
Egypt is currently under the Military rule. In Yemen the people are divided and still revolting and in Syria it's bloody. Bashar El Assad the Syrian President is giving orders to their Military to kill as many people as they can who are revolting against the system.
All these "uprisings" are being covered by media. Each country is covering what's going on through their State Television and Governmental newspapers. And were covered by global news agencies as well.
This project will be focusing on the Egyptian television and newspapers and how they handled covering the revolution and what kind of ethical journalism points they ignored just to cover up to all the unfairness that was going on in the Egyptian government through out that past 30 years or so.


On July 21, 1969, The Egyptian TV started it's first black and white broadcast through one channel. The decision of starting television service in Egypt was taken first by the late King Farouk but it was delayed until 1959 due to the British-French-Israeli Suez invasion.
In 1960, the construction of the radio and television center "maspero" was completed and started broadcasting.
Throughout the history of Egypt, the state TV was always reflecting the authority's opinion. This was clear in it's support to the 1952 Revolution ideas and principles through the first years of its establishment. The state TV was used during the times of Nasser to sometimes tell unreal stories about the 1967 defeat for example which accordingly increased the degree of frustration and anger of the Egyptian people of this time.
When Anwar El Sadat was the Egyptian president, the state TV didn't improve it's performance much even though the numbers of channels increased and the hours of transmission was longer. The state TV was used again to transmit the government's view on the 1977 protests to the Egyptian citizens which included unreal and exaggerated information that lead to the suppression of these protests.
Speaking of printed press during Gamal Abd el Nasser it was also very restricted to criticise him or his government. A lot of journalists were arrested at that time if they thought of writing anything that was against the regime.
During Sadat's era it was a little bit lose there was a diversity in writing but no one had the complete freedom to write their opinion 100%.
So basically egyptian television and governmental newspapers until that moment have actually never been the voice of the egyptian people. They never represented them. They have always been the voice of the government, the inner voice to make the Egyptian people believe in what the government is doing and blind them from thinking about any thing else.


 Egyptian State Television and governmental news papers pre Jan 25

Egyptian media before the January 25 uprising were deeply implicated with the state. They sort of had a way of dominating everything.
Even Egyptian satellite channels were under direct government supervision, operation and ownership. The Egyptian Radio and Television Union  "ERTU", located in the Maspero Building in central Cairo, is the state agency that operates all terrestrially broadcast television in Egypt. Since 2009, ERTU has also included the Nile TV International satellite network. Both the ERTU and the television sector chairmen are appointed by the Minister of Information. And of course since they are appointed by a Minister they have to strictly follow all his commands.
They Egyptian State tv and governmental news papers never showed the bad side of the government. They always put Mubarak in a frame and treated him as if he was some kind of God. It was a taboo to criticise him or anything he did. Every now and then one could find a small piece of article in a local newspaper criticising a minister maybe. But it was never the main focus of the news papers and tv channels.
The content was in both almost identical. They would only list the achievements Mubarak and his government did this week for example, who he met what they talked about. They would write about future plans that supposedly would help the Egyptian people in the future and they make a huge thing out of these plans and a couple of years later it becomes forgotten.
A lot of politicians also say that the Egyptian media used football and made it in the last two years very important just to make the Egyptian people's mind busy with it and to avoid them thinking about the current situation in Egypt and how bad and corrupt everything is becoming.
That was sort of one way of manipulation how the people think and limiting their horizons of thinking and being able to create their own point of views rather than the ones the government wants them to have.





Egyptian State Television and governmental news papers from 
January 25th till February 11th


 January 25th has always been the "Police Day" in Egypt. It's something like "mother's day" but for the police. It's a day where the egyptian people should praise the police because they are the ones protecting them and they should pay them some respect on that day.
In 2011 on that day the people decided to show the police respect in a different way, because everyone knew how corrupt the police was and what kind of methods of brutality they used against prisoners and how they beat up people to death and one of the greatest examples is "Khaled Said" an Alexandrian young man who was beaten to death by the police.
On that day protests went on the streets in a lot of different places in Egypt and a lot of people got later on arrested and were beaten up by the police, tear gas was fired and the protesters.
During these protests the Egyptian Television didn't mention anything about them. They totally ignored them. And showed videos of the Egyptian police and celebrated their day on TV while the people were protesting against the regime and against the way the egyptian police deal with people.
Governmental newspapers covered the day as followed, they said that the Egyptian people went on the streets in demonstrations to show respect to the police and they even gave them flowers and chocolates.
Of course some Egyptians give the State television and newspapers a lot of credibility so they believed them that nothing had happened.
The next couple of days the Egyptian Television has went totally mad. They either aired complete lies or they ignored reporting on some things that were going on in Egypt.
They would bring a shot of Tahrir square where most of the Egyptians in Cairo were protesting and tell lies that these are thugs or spies or foreigners or Egyptians who have some kind of an agenda who are paid to destroy Egypt.
They'd pay people to speak on the television and fake stories for example the very famous " Tamer from Ghamra" who called and kept on crying on television that he was beaten by the protesters in Tahrir who are trying to distroy the country.
One of the methods they used to scare people away was letting people call on air and cry and shout and say that they are being attacked by thugs right now. That was a way to keep everyone at home protecting their families so that no one would go to Tahrir .
So basically thorough the first 18 days of the revolution till the day Mubarak stepped down Egyptian State Television and Governmental Newspapers were either telling lies or hiding the truth in some way.



Egyptian State Television and news papers after February 11th 


(The transformation)

On February 11th 2011 former Egyptian President Mubarak stepped down after an 18 day of protesting by the Egyptian people.
At that day all of a sudden the Egyptian State television transformed completely, they were first against the protests and never were on the people's sides and were telling lies about them and all of a sudden after Mubarak stepped down the Egyptian television started celebrating the "Egyptian Revolution" that has led the bad President to step down though he was the good man half an hour earlier. That was some sort of a very schizophrenic act from a State Television.
All of a sudden the people in Tahrir became heroes after they've been called spies and thugs for 18 days.
The newspapers who totally ignored the protests and wrote lies about it had headlines the next day that " The people have won" and they praised the revolution and the Egyptians who died for this revolution they made heroes out of everyone they called thugs before.
That "transformation" was understood by a lot of people. Because they all thought that the anchors and journalists were under a lot of pressure during the 18 days and had to do their job -although personally I believe that they should've quit instead of telling lies because that is not a proper job- .
Starting that day the State Television and governmental newspaper finally were on the Revolution's side and started showing real footage of the demonstrations that they ignored showing during the 18 days.

 Egyptian State Television and newspapers under the military rule 
post January 25th

After Mubarak stepped down the Military took over and is now kind of replacing the President till the next presidential elections.
The way the Egyptian State Television and newspapers are dealing with the Military is the same way they dealt with Mubarak when he was ruling.
There's this famous phrase that has been used in the last few months "El magles khatt ahmar" which means the " Military Council is a Red line". No one is allowed to even think of criticising anything they do.
Those who did were arrested and faces military court. For example Maikel Nabil and Egyptian Blogger who in just one Blog showed footage and pictures of corruption in the Military, he showed how they helped in killing the protesters in Tahrir how on the famous "mawket el gamal" The Camel incident they were just watching from afar and didn't protect the protesters. He was arrested from his house after publishing that post online and faced military trial and has been in military prison ever since.
So after a huge revolution like this the Egyptian State Television and Newspapers are still representing the voice of the people in power not the Egyptian people.
A lot of facts are not allowed to be said on Egyptian television, lately the lies have appeared again. For example there was a huge demonstration in Tahrir in late November that was against the Military Trials for Civilians and it was asking SCAF to give the power to a revolutionary council and at the same time there was a demonstration in Abbaseya a pro SCAF one. The numbers in Abbaseya were very little compared to the one in Tahrir. What the State Television did was showing two pictures one from Tahrir and the other supposedly from Abbaseya though anyone who has been to Tahrir before could tell that both are in Tahrir but just two different angles.
A lot of activists have been asking and blogging lately about an #OccupyMaspero movement. Where they want to "clean" the maspero building -state TV- from all the lies and the authorities there that force the journalists and anchors to hide the truth from the Egyptian people. Activists think that this is the only way the Revolution would ever see light. Which is by cleaning the State Television from all the lies and old methods.


written on Monday December 12th 2011



Friday 18 November 2011

A schizophrenic day in Tahrir #Nov18

So.. Tahrir Square a happy place.. full of emotions, memories and everything else.. I experienced joy, hate, anger, fear and sadness in that place.. Probably everyone who was there during the 18 days knows how I feel. Anyhow.. I just got back home after a day in the square .. the numbers were huge ! almost as crowded as the old days.. yet it left me with mixed feelings.. It was a crazy place, I started my day around a group of liberals which was okay.. the people are open minded they're not extremists in anyway I was close to Omar Makram.. I decided to go to Talaat Harb street, I took the short way thru the metro.. while going up the metro stairs to Talaat Harb street I heard a chant that kept me frozen in my place for a few seconds " al sha3b yorid tatbi2 shar3 allah " that total extreme Islamist chant  totally hit me ... I wasn't in Egypt on the 29th of July when Tahrir was totally occupied by Salafis and Ikhwan, so today was my first shock with such chants.. and the chants kept going louder " allahu akbar" and "islameya islameya" That was the first time for me personally to hear non political chants in Tahrir .. It was never like that, on the other hand there where the amazing chants I love the anti SCAF chants .. " alsha3b yorid eskat el moushir" and " yaskot yaskot 7okm el 3askar e7na elsha3b el khatt el a7mar" and " yangeeb 7a2ohom yanmout zayohom" .
All these chants were present today.. it was a weird mix that changed my mood a lot .. from angry to depressed to cheerful .. Schizophrenia at it best I must say...
I got sexually harassed  of course like any other female in the square I suppose .. Verbally A LOT ! and physically 4 times .. plus the times that men pass by and touch my ass or boobs as if it was a mistake coz it's crowded.. it might have been a mistake .. I can never tell.
So right now, I'm home kind of devastated .. Tho the numbers were huge and everything .. but the general atmosphere wasn't the atmosphere I like..
I hope they stop going to tahrir for their religious causes .. I really do .. It was never like that.. and it should NEVER be like that..
This is my Tahrir, our Tahrir.. my baby.. I'm too attached to that place and I don't want ANYONE to mess with it.
This place is sacred for me.. and I believe for others too..
I want my safe home back.. I want it back.. I don't want anyone to use it anymore for any purposes whether for their religious believes or their parliament or presidential campaigns..

I want my Tahrir back where men used to protect me when it got dangerous there not use the situation to touch my body..

I'm sad

Sunday 28 August 2011

The girl who lost her mind

I know a girl who lost here mind
from a constant feeling that was inside
alone she cried while everyone smiled
she couldn't get it out of her mind.

She had a smile that killed the guys
they would've traveled for many miles
just to see her face that used to shine
but now she's left in a world of lies

Chorus:
She used to smile but now she cries
she used to shine but now she hides
she was the girl who did everything right
but now she's the girl who lost her mind

She just couldn't take it anymore
it kept on killing her more and more
each time she tried to survive
it held her down and took her life

her world was falling apart
while she was trying to play her part
her part in the tragedy she was living in
where she was drowning in a sea of sin

Chorus

while now am standing on her grave
I'm saying the prayer that might save
save me from living the life she had
coz her end was really fuckin bad

smth I wrote 5 years ago

lying here in a prison cell
Got no where to go.
Got no one to be
Counting every tear that is falling from me!

Consumed by hope
That is fading away
Enslaved to darkness
That won’t go away
Surrounded by loneliness
That is getting more
Caught in dreams
That I’m longing for

Holding the knife in my shaky hand
thinking of the moment where I can
Save my life from this pain
that has became my life

Consumed by hope
That is fading away
Enslaved to darkness
That won’t go away
Surrounded by loneliness
That is getting more
Caught in dreams
That I’m longing for

Now that the moment is here
Where I can release all my fear
I cut myself so deep
Now I’m finally free

As I open my eyes
I see everything is white
Is that heaven am in, or is hell so bright?
Isn’t that my love that I left behind?

(An Angel): He’s the one who saved you.
And took u back to his life!

Friday 19 August 2011

When hashtags move from twitter to your dreams!

I dream of hashtags! loadz and loadz of hashtags ! 

I suppose after the recent events taking place all over the world specially in the Middle east and specifically in Egypt.. The easiest way to get hold of any news happening is just to search for a certain #Hashtag !

The last couple of days I've been searching different hashtags .. and doing my best to make some hashtags trend worldwide which always ends with a huge failure because the world cares more about hashtags like #WMYBMUSICVIDEO than #SyriaBleeds ! 

Anyway last night I had one of the weirdest dreams ever.. I saw myself writing an exam.. and the paper was full of hashtags..An exam full of hashtags..

Hashtags like :

#NoMilTrials : which is against Military trials for civilians in Egypt !
#NOSCAF: which is against the rule of the Military Council in Egypt!
#Egypt: well the hashtag explains it self.
#Jan25 : A day I'll never forget, The day the Egyptian revolution started.
#July8: The start of the second sit in that I didn't take part of coz I'm abroad.
#Tahrir: THE PLACE where it all started.
#Tahrir: The symbol of the revolution.
#Tahrir: a hashtag that was a trend world wide during the first couple of days of the revolution.
#Sinai: for current events taking place on the border with what they call "Israel" which is actually PALESTINE!
#Gaza: A beautiful place in Palestine that's been suffering for years.
#Syria: A country trying to gain their freedom but their Dictator #Assad is a murderer and is killing the people.
#SyriaBleeds: It shows the number of people dying and getting injured coz of a Dictator ruling Syria.

Endless hashtags.. Each and everyone is important in a way.. Each hashtag connects you to the world.. it connects you to certain events.. connects you to people asking for media attention..